I left off in January stating that my HB levels had gone down on the wrong end of the swing. Email Dr Tham replying, "You are probably bleeding fair amount during your periods.
Taking red meat , liver and spinach helps but you need to plug the bleeding. Otherwise, the blood your body made would eventually bleed away.
You can consider taking hormones to control period, or in the worse situation, surgery, to stop your period".
Spoke with him on the phone on 1 Feb. Then, his suggestion was I go consult him to do another hb count using it as a base, another cycle of GNRH and track the progress.
I dreaded the side effects the last round -- insomnia, extreme mood swings, hot flushes, persistent perspiration, etc. It lasted 9 months. Still, I agreed to go see him on 3rd Feb.
However, upon entering the consultation room, He said, "I want to scan you. It is better." I replied, "I thought you want to do an hb level count?"
He asked, "Where was the blood count done," to which I said, " Hougang Polyclinic".
He said, " OPD, I trust. They are very accurate. You go drink some water and I'll see you later".
During the scan, "It has grown in size, about 6.5 to 7cm with another 6-8 smaller ones sprouting. I can see another 2 tiny ones popping up at the front already," came the rude shock!
I said, "Huh, so fast? You said it was very good in December 2011. How come so fast, 8 weeks only? He said, " Fibroids can proliferate very quickly. No explanation could be given one. When was the last surgery?"
"nearly 9 years. the last one was on independence day in 2003".
He said, "You have taken care of yourself very well already. Fibroids usually resurface between 2-4 years. Be happy that you have maintained it consistently for these years".
So how? Still GNRH?"
"No! surgery the only option. If we do not plug them out now, more will surface and you'll be more anaemic, putting yourself in danger." came the answer.
I continued, "Huh? Laparoscopy can or not?"
He said, "cannot leh, either a myomectomy or hysterectomy. Because it is an abdomenal scan, I can't see clearly if there is any at the back of your womb. For a thorough job, a myomectomy has to be or you want a hysterectomy, which will eliminate this problem once and for all. Only the womb is removed. You still have your ovaries, hence, no menopausal symptoms".
When I sent him the email in December 2011, I had the impression that I was ready for surgery to remove the monster. However, it proved otherwise. I broke down straightaway, saying, "Dr Tham, I'm confuse," when he said, "Do you want a hysteractomy or myomectomy?"
As I went alone to consult him, the decision lied heavily upon my shoulders.
He suggested that I go KK Hospital for the surgery to save money but I refused because I had myself covered with a hospitalisation plan, and it's time to exercise this part of my bargain. Furthermore, in 2003, God had spoken clearly to me that he will be my gynae. The last experience staying in KK Hospital in July 2010 really sucked and I didn't like to be treated as a second class patient, for one nurse said, "Your consultant does not see subsidised patients".
Moreover, a "kaleidoscope" of imageries of the 2003 surgery gripped me immediately, especially These words by an indian nurse "Miss, You must pray to your God that you will come out alive" at the holding area, the doctor’ss trial-and-error of setting the IV drip, the 8 hours or so of blood transfusion, the 6-hour of bowel prep and so on haunted me in quick succession. Oh yes! How could I forget the food quality?
Fibroids affect 1 in 4 women, especially, when it's hereditary. It is the result of the muscles in the womb proliferating uncontrollably, feeding on memstrual blood.
Seeing that I was breaking down, he said "Cry first. I know it's hard to take it. Don't be confuse. Tell me what you want done, I'll do it for you".
I answered, "Doc Tham, I don't know. I am really confuse. What shall I do?"
He continued, "This is a very personal issue and emotional too. I had taken out 45 fibroids from one lady, still, she wanted to keep her womb. I had also removed 1 fibroid from another who wanted her uterus removed.
I quizzzed, "Doc Tham, I need blood transfusion, is it?" He replied, "Yes. I'll requisite 2 pints. You need to come on the 28 Feb for pre-admission testing. We need to do a cross match". I said, "Do you think my hb level can reach a level the blood transfusion may not be required?" "It may not be possible. Do whatever you can to increase your hb level. We'll see on 28 Feb, ok? The nurse at the counter will help you with the admission procedure and the bill size. You talk with her. She will fit my schedule. Don't think too much. Everything will be ok."
Lingering another 10 minutes in his consultation room searching for the answer, his verdict was final. So, me off to the counter to work out the estimated bill size and deciding on the date of the surgery.
Dorothy shocked me, "Your estimated bill size is between 10,000 and 20,000 dollars". I asked, "How come such a big difference? I only want a 4-bedder and 3day and 2night stay. Can you rework this again and itemise for me? I know complications would incur more cost".
Initially, I chose 23 February but changed it as I knew I would not be ready mentally.
1 March 2012, it shall be.
When I told my mom, she was in favour of the surgery, even wanting me to have a hysteractomy instead. During this periodd, I heard a lot of "noises", especially, from my cell leader and his wife.
When I told my cell group, requesting them to stand by me, my cell leader texted, "You may also need to give up some of your hurts. Sometimes, it is the past that eat us up," "No, not any particular person but society. Ppl in general. People that treat you differently, etc," not what I was expecting. I became more confused when someone said, "Why not a keyhole one? Doctor can do it via the bottom, my polyp was removed this way".
During these weeks, more emails were traded, like, "Ok Lee Lee. You still believe that this is the way forward. And it be open surgery instead of keyhole surgery?"
I had to explain. Even on 27 February he was still quizzing my decision.
Another friend asked, "Why you want to keep your womb? It has only three purposes -- to carry a fetal to term, shed the inner lining every month and it is a hot bed for cancer". However, she u-turned and encouraged me throughout, called me on 29 Feb, praying with me over the phone.
I signed up the G12 conference with the hope of receiving divine healing there. However, God's way was always not ours; I attended the Israel Haughton concert on 16 and the first session of the conference on 17 Feb. During the night, I was attacked with a bulk of fatigue, a feverish-like and an explained tired came over my body. I couldn't wake up till past 2pm.
On Sunday, I attended the Chinese service at Touch Centre but couldn't go to the conference at the Expo Hall 2 for I was shivering throughout the service, considering the aircon was not cold for every service I attended and have been attending. Hence, divine healing????
However, encouragement from Gwen, Monica, Mindy, Nancy, collette, my cousin, Lee Cheng and some others really helped me to be more positive.
To minimise the chance of needing blood transfusion a third time, I started taking the iron folate acid and protein powder from Amway, while my mother started diligently boiling Red dates, wulfberries and dansheng consistently to boost the hb levels, plus eating a moderate amount of liver.
Thank God, Jun accompanied me for the pre-admission testing on 28 March. While waiting for the result of the blood test, Isaiah 40:10 sufficed when a friend and dear colleague texted me, putting me at ease. What's more, Dr Tham confirmed that the HB level had increased, therefore, no bt required. Praise God!
While I was fighting this battle, asking God for a divine way out, work for the Lobangclub and DiD carried on per normal. Guyi and I went to promote Lobangclub at Y.E.S.933 during the night programme on 20 Feb. We were talking about the Lobangclub for about 45 minutes with songs playing in between. I informed Glen, Hwee Ley, Han Wei and Wesley in February of my leave of absence in March.
Eventually, my cell leader encouraged me by sending me a song by Scott Wesley Brown "He Will Carry You Through". As I listened attentively to the song meditating on the lyrics, God's presence enveloped me and I had His Peace which surpasses all understanding as I rested on the hospital bed, although I don't understand why I had to undergo this a third time and to surrender to His Will for this yet again.
As an answer, God sent this via NanSheng Gege on 29 Feb,
My friend,
If you walk, you will be able to see the budding of the trees in the early spring.
If you walk, you will be able to hear the birds squatting on the branches singing.
If you walk, you will be able to feel the warmth of the sun in the cool morning.
If you walk, you will be able to talk to Ellen.
She is digging her tulips from the ground to her pots.
She doesn’t want to violate the rules!
Oh, she said it was not about rules but obedience.
Why struggle with it for the few roots of tulips?
There is always a way in obedience.
If you walk, you will be able to meet me with God walking alongside and a day begins with fresh perspective.
If you walk, don’t walk too fast, enjoy!
Stay tune to my next entry where I would share about my ordeal and recovery.
